i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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