worst night to have a conscience
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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