Plan B is the new Plan A
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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