i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
