Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
