I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize