Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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