ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize