Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
