dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
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do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
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If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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