This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
