Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
