we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
