oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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