Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
