spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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