Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
