ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I can't put those talents on a resume
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
