scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
