I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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