If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
