I was born with a shot glass in my hand
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
