with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
