i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I look better un-naked...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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