I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
