You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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