a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize