Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
