when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
