well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
