Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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