Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She told me I should be a condom model.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
3 2 1 whiskey
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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