I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
