You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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