I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
