Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
