It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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