I love black thongs
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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