before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
