I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize