just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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