I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
