For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You did what with his pubic hair?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
