Define "chronic" masturbator.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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