apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
and she was petting her beer can
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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