david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
