I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
