Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
