ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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