you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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