I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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