At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
