I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
