Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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